Books, Social Issues

BOOK REVIEW: “I REspectfully Disagree” by Justin Jones-Fosu

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In an era characterized by polarization, Justin Jones-Fosu’s new book, “I Respectfully Disagree” emerges as a crucial guide for navigating the treacherous waters of social, ideological, and work conflicts.

The Berrett-Koehler published book (which launched on August 16th) is predicated on a startling reality. Approximately 25% of the global population is affected by serious conflicts, a testament to the profound divisions that cut across our social fabric. Justin argues compellingly that many have lost touch with the humanity of those who hold opposing views, often resorting to labels and generalizations that only serve to deepen divides.

The book’s central thesis is a call to dismantle the walls of division and instead, construct bridges of understanding. Jones-Fosu positions the book as a compass in these turbulent times, guiding readers towards a more inclusive approach where respect does not necessitate agreement. True inclusion, he suggests, is about maintaining respect for one another amidst disagreement.

One of the book’s most powerful messages is encapsulated in a quote from the late Anthony Bourdain:

“I don’t have to agree with you to like or respect you.”
– Anthony Bourdain

“I Respectfully Disagree” introduces the concept of “Golden Respect,” which Jones-Fosu describes as a blend of courage and conviction. The book shares the story of Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl. Frankl emphasizes our ability to choose our responses in any situation—a powerful reminder of human agency.

The goal of respectful disagreement is not changing opinions but rather understanding different perspectives and planting seeds for future dialogue. To facilitate this, the book introduces five pillars to navigate difficult conversations:

1. Challenge Your Perspective – Encourages readers to adopt a new lens and embrace the humanity of those they disagree with.

2. Be the Student – Advocates for a learning stance, where feedback is sought to deepen understanding.

3. Cultivate Your Curiosity – Urges readers not to shut people out but to engage them with questions and an open mind.

4. Seek the Gray – Calls for recognition of nuance and the embracing of ambiguity, stepping away from black-and-white thinking.

5. Agree to Respect – Stresses the need for full acknowledgment of others’ viewpoints and working collaboratively towards mutual understanding.

“I Respectfully Disagree – How to Have Difficult Conversations in a Divided World” is more than a manual; it is a reflective journey that challenges each of us to reconsider how we interact with the world. It is about cultivating a mindset where every individual is valued, not despite, but through their differences.

I highly recommend it. This book is particularly valuable for anyone looking to foster a culture of dialogue and understanding, whether in personal relationships, professional environments, or broader social interactions.

Get your copy today https://www.amazon.com/Respectfully-Disagree-Difficult-Conversations-Divided/dp/152300651X

What’s Your Purple Goldfish?

In a sea of sameness, what makes your brand truly remarkable? The Purple Goldfish represents the little extras you provide to exceed customer expectations and create memorable experiences. It’s about going beyond what’s required to surprise and delight your customers.

These “signature extras” could be as simple as a handwritten thank-you note or as grand as personalized service tailored to a customer’s unique preferences. The key is differentiation—standing out in a way that’s authentic to your brand.

Remember, in a world where customers have endless choices, the small, thoughtful gestures are what they’ll remember and talk about. So ask yourself: what’s your Purple Goldfish?

A Leadership Lesson from the Amsterdam Window

Have you ever seen an Amsterdam window? If you’ve strolled through the charming concentric canals of Amsterdam, you may have noticed something curious…

The windows of the canal houses are immense, and almost none have curtains or coverings.

Why is that?

The answer offers an important lesson for leaders.

For background, the tradition of large, uncovered windows in Amsterdam dates back to the modest Calvinist period. At that time, the wealthy demonstrated their prosperity subtly by paying higher window taxes. More importantly, the lack of curtains served a practical purpose.

In the words of writer Joanna Tweedy, “The centuries-old glass, beautifully imperfect, frames the olive-green waters outside and lets the natural light and the eyes of curious tourists pour in.”

One visitor to Amsterdam, Vineet Nayar, once asked a friend, “Why no curtains?”

The friend explained the practical reasons—to let in light and enjoy the canal view—but then added a striking observation:

“It forces us to keep our house clean.”

The bigger the windows, the more visible the dirt—to the homeowner and to passersby.

The act of making everything visible by default encourages upkeep and pride in one’s surroundings. The same principle applies to leadership and organizations.

Transparency allows teams to see both the successes and challenges, fostering trust and collaboration. The most important driver of employee engagement is the belief that senior management genuinely cares about their well-being.

Sharing information openly and showing employees how their work contributes to the organization’s success builds that critical trust.

As Louis Brandeis, a former U.S. Supreme Court Justice, wisely said,

“Sunlight is the best disinfectant.”

Transparency—like the Amsterdam window—brings clarity and accountability, allowing organizations to thrive by rooting out issues and building trust.

Takeaway: How are you opening your organization’s “windows” to foster transparency and demonstrate genuine care for your team’s well-being? Openness has a deeper implication: it ensures accountability. When everything is visible, nothing stays hidden for long.

Today’s Lagniappe (little something extra) – I lived in Amsterdam for three years back in the 2000s. One of the many quirks in the city was a latin inscription above a row of columns near Leidseplein, “Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum.” It’s a wonderful piece of advice. It translates to, “A wise person should not piss into the wind.”

Don’t Be a Zebra… Stand Out in Life

Zebras have stripes for a reason—they camouflage themselves in the herd as a prey defense. A lion who sees five zebras standing together doesn’t see five zebras. It sees only one big Zebra and will not attack.

This strategy might work for zebras… But in today’s world, blending in is the riskiest move you can make. Management guru Tom Peters says it best: “It is no longer safe to be the same, to be normal, to be indistinct.”

In business and in life, fitting in doesn’t lead to greatness. Differentiation does.

That’s the heart of what David Rendall and I call Pink Goldfish Strategy. It’s built on three foundational beliefs:

1️⃣ Fitting in as a “me too” brand will never lead to success. Benchmarking against others is not the path to greatness.

2️⃣ Fixing your weaknesses is a waste of time. Instead, flaunt them! Your flaws might hold the key to what makes you remarkable.

3️⃣ If you try to please everyone or be great at everything, you’ll end up being great at nothing. Mediocrity isn’t memorable.

It’s good to be different. It’s good to be unbalanced, to stick out, and to embrace what makes you unique. Weird brands—and weird people—win.

So here’s my challenge to YOU: Don’t hide among the zebras. Heed Tom’s advice. Be bold. Be strange. Be remarkable. Build a brand or career that’s unapologetically YOU. Because in a world where it’s no longer safe to blend in, the only choice is to stand out.

Today’s Lagniappe – Here is a great story from Jordan Peterson about zebras:

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door

Milton Berle famously said, “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.”

I was reminded of the quote recently while watching JK Simmons’ portrayal of Berle in the movie “Saturday Night.”

It’s one of my favorite quotes. And a powerful reminder that no one is waiting for you. There’s no secret panel of judges behind the curtain deciding if you’re “worthy” of being picked or called.

The world doesn’t owe you anything. No one hands you your shot.

It’s on you to create your opportunities. You don’t need anyone’s permission to start.

The hard part is figuring out WHAT you want to do. Once you nail down the what, the HOW magically has a way of showing up.

It’s not about luck or timing. It’s about effort, creativity, and persistence. Build that DOOR. Opportunity is waiting for you to create it.

Get going. Make it so…

What do clients say about Stan Phelps?

I recently just passed the 270 mark for client testimonials on eSpeakers.

Text reviews and recommendations for a speaker, highlighting successful workshops and positive impacts on sales and marketing teams. Includes client titles and companies. All ratings and comments are positive.

I fed all of them into ChatGPT and asked it to share the top 11 themes. Here’s what it shared:

The most frequent words and themes from the testimonials highlight the following top 11 recurring aspects of your keynotes, workshops, and Goldfish Tank programs:

1. Engaging – Audiences frequently describe your presentations as captivating and engaging.

2. Audience-Centric – Testimonials emphasize how you connect with and understand your audience.

3. Storytelling – Many comments highlight your skill as a speaker and storyteller.

4. Customized Content – Feedback underscores your ability to tailor content to specific needs.

5. Professionalism – Reviewers appreciate the professional and polished nature of your work.

6. Relatable Examples – Many testimonials mention the relevance of your examples and content.

7. High Quality – Consistent praise for the thoughtful and well-prepared nature of your sessions.

8. Practical Insights – People value the actionable takeaways you provide.

9. Collaboration – Testimonials often reference your ability to work seamlessly with teams.

10. Energy and Enthusiasm – Comments regularly highlight the passion and energy you bring to every event.

11. Impactful Delivery – Your presentations leave a lasting impact on teams and individuals.

One of the fun features of my new website is the ability to view my testimonials by industry, type of program, and delivery mechanism. Check it out:

Screenshot of a webpage highlighting a speaker, Stan, as the most recommended on eSpeakers, with 270+ client reviews. Includes client testimonials praising his sessions and presentations.

Interested in learning more about my programs, click here to take a 2-minute quiz to find out which keynote, workshop, or Goldfish Tank program might be the best fit. Or click here to schedule a Discovery Call.

Harbinger of 2025

What’s a harbinger? I first learned this word in the movie, “Clerks.” Merriam-Webster defines it as…

“something that gives an anticipatory sign of what is to come”

Last week was a harbinger of 2025…

First off, I have to admit that the beginnings of both 2023 and 2024 were bleak for me. As a professional speaker, I’ve always found the first couple of weeks of the year to be slow. The last two years were painfully such.

My hope was to reverse the trend. And I couldn’t be happier. Here’s a recap:

Monday saw me driving to Atlanta for an engagement in the Goldfishmobile. I stayed at the Shane in midtown. It’s a Kimpton Hotel (a happy place for me and one of inspirations behind the Goldfish metaphor). Really enjoyed catching up with the GM Andrew Funt during their Happy Hour.

Tuesday was a morning engagement with the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta. I shared insights on customer-centricity from Purple Goldfish with the HR team. Huge thanks to Nadra Hunter, M.Ed. for her amazing coordination and hospitality. My workshop was followed with a nice catch-up and lunch with my SWIM (Speakers With Impact Mastermind) colleague Raven Solomon, CSP®.

Thursday was a Cary Chamber of Commerce kickoff breakfast at Prestonwood Country Club. Honored to be an Ambassador for the Chamber. The evening was an ANA workshop with Lenovo APAC. I shared insights from Silver Goldfish on Effective Communication & Presentation Skills until 1:30 a.m. Thanks to Holly King for coordinating from CES and to Aaron Parker for his support.

Friday was a Pink Goldfish showcase for NCER (North Carolina Executive Roundtable) at Prestonwood. My luncheon keynote shared insights on how to stand out and create competitive separation in the marketplace.

Friday afternoon, Saturday, and Sunday were professional development. I was honored to be part of the 172nd edition of The Achiever’s Circle with Hall of Fame Speaker Mark LeBlanc, CSP, CPAE. Mark literally wrote the book on “Growing Your Business” when you are the business. The weekend in ONE word… transformative. I only wish I would have Mark’s revelatory insights a decade ago.

Saturday morning was a meetup for NSA Carolinas. The Second Saturday was virtual with the snow/ice. John F. Edwards, CSP, CVP ran an amazing virtual meeting. Love, love the NSA community.

Sunday finished with meeting Rich Pastor at Knights Play Golf Center to hit some golf balls and catch-up with an old and dear friend.

I recently watched Jim Valvano’s ESPY speech. One of my favorite parts is when he talks about the three things you should do everyday. Jim Valvano said you should: laugh, think, and have their emotions moved to tears. I love this. Valvano said if you could do each of those things it was a full day.

As I look back on my first full week of 2025… I shared, I connected, and I learned. And if I could do each of those things each week, that would be a fulfilling week and a harbinger of a great year.

What are the Benefits of Hiring a Global Speaking Fellow?

In July of 2024, I became the 44th speaker in the World to receive the Global Speaking Fellow designation.

In response to the expanding international nature of the needs of global speaking members, international clients, and global audiences, the Global Speakers Federation in 2014 established the framework for a designation that recognizes professional speakers successfully presenting at a global level. This earned designation is called the Global Speaking Fellow.

Hiring a Global Speaking Fellow offers several key benefits. Here are five main advantages:

1. Global Perspective

A Global Speaking Fellow brings a deep understanding of diverse cultures, markets, and audiences. They can tailor their message to resonate across different regions, ensuring relevance and inclusivity in a global context.

2. Proven Expertise

Achieving the designation of Global Speaking Fellow indicates a high level of professionalism, extensive experience, and mastery in public speaking. This ensures that the speaker delivers exceptional value and credible insights.

3. Customization and Adaptability

With experience across various industries and countries, a Global Speaking Fellow is skilled at customizing content to address specific organizational challenges, goals, and cultural nuances, ensuring maximum audience engagement.

4. Engaging and Impactful Delivery

Global Speaking Fellows are recognized for their ability to captivate and inspire audiences through dynamic storytelling, innovative frameworks, and actionable takeaways, leaving a lasting impression.

5. Professional Standards and Reliability

As members of an elite group, Global Speaking Fellows adhere to the highest ethical and professional standards, ensuring a smooth collaboration, seamless execution, and an outstanding experience for both organizers and attendees.

These benefits make a Global Speaking Fellow a valuable asset for organizations seeking a world-class speaker who can engage, inspire, and deliver meaningful outcomes on a global scale.

Being recognized as a Global Speaking Fellow at the Global Speakers Summit in Bali, Indonesia

If you’d like to begin a discussion about how I can help you with a virtual Keynote, Workshop, or Goldfish Tank program, you can grab time on my schedule here, reach me by email at [email protected] or by text/phone at 1 919 360 4702.

Honored to Receive the Jeanne Robertson Award for Excellence

One of my favorite scenes in the movie “Christmas Story” is when the Dad is explaining to a neighbor about the leg lamp in the front window,

“It’s a Major Award.”

It wasn’t a leg lamp, nor was it made in Italy. It was much better. I was honored this past weekend to be the inaugural recipient of the NSA Carolinas Jeanne Robertson Award for Excellence.

If you knew Jeanne, you know how important this is given her legacy in the speaking profession. It truly is a major award. If you don’t know Jeanne, check out the video below.

The award is peer-nominated and voted on by members outside the chapter. It is given to a member who has, over the past year, embodied these four core attributes that defined Jeanne’s remarkable career:

1. Staying Relevant – Continuously generating fresh, impactful material and engaging with current trends.

2. Leading with Innovation – Employing savvy business strategies and embracing growth opportunities.

3. Demonstrating Resilience – Turning setbacks into opportunities, similar to how Jeanne would harness a positive and humorous outlook to take on challenges.

4. Staying Persistent – Exhibiting unwavering focus and dedication to achieve long-term goals.

Huge thanks to Patrick Henry who provided a wonderful video about Jeanne and the award. And also to Jane Jenkins Herlong CSP, CPAE for her thoughtful presentation of the award.

Kudos to fellow award winners from the weekend. My “Blue Goldfish 2.0” co-author Chuck Gallagher won Member of the Year and Sharon Delaney McCloud CDE® & William Mangum won Presidential Awards.

Talking Pink Goldfish Strategy on the Minter Dialogue Podcast

Does your brand stand out in the marketplace? Honored to be on Episode #565 of the Minter Dialogue Podcast.

We talk about Pink Goldfish strategy and how it relates to branding, positioning, and marketing.

A great hour-long conversation. Privileged to be a guest on Minter‘s podcast for the second time.

Here are four takeaways from our conversation:

1. Differentiation Through Experience: Differentiation in today’s competitive market is less about the products or services offered and more about how and why they are provided. This approach focuses on enhancing customer experiences.

2. The Evolution of Business Focus: The transformational model of business shifts from mere profit-making to a more purpose-driven approach that prioritizes employee satisfaction as a route to customer happiness, ultimately leading to profitability.

3. Embrace of Personal Symbols in Branding: We should embrace distinctive personal symbols that reflect one’s unique identity and philosophy. This practice of “micro-weirding” helps stand out and reinforces personal branding in professional settings.

4. The Role of Imperfections: The concept of being “flaw-some.” Acknowledging and embracing one’s flaws or weaknesses can paradoxically become a strength, particularly in branding and customer relations. This ties back to the idea that authenticity and uniqueness can drive deeper engagement and loyalty.

Bold Kindness Isn’t Just a Book, It’s a Manifesto For Compassionate Leadership

It began with a couch. When Cathy Thorpe assumed the role of CEO in 2014, she encountered an unexpected symbol in her new office… a large pink couch.

Rather than discarding it, she embraced it as a centerpiece of Nurse Next Door’s BOLD KIND culture and her leadership style. This pink couch represents comfort, the removal of barriers, and a commitment to vulnerability and openness in the workplace.

Earlier this year Cathy published “Bold Kindness.” It is not just a book; it’s a manifesto calling for a revolution in how businesses are led.

As CEO of Nurse Next Door, a company that’s been redefining home care since its inception in 2001, Thorpe has created a workplace that prioritizes compassion and engagement. Her book reveals an unsettling truth that only 20% of employees feel engaged in their workplaces. Cathy provides the recipe for leaders to create environments where employees are not just present but are enthusiastic, empowered, and connected.

I’ve had the privilege of visiting their corporate offices in Vancouver, British Columbia, affectionately dubbed the “Heartquarters” back in 2017. I witnessed their daily morning huddle, a testament to a culture deeply obsessed with doing more for their clients and constantly seeking better ways to serve. This commitment to going above and beyond is also something I’ve highlighted in my previous writings about Nurse Next Door in “Purple Goldfish,” “Green Goldfish,” and “Pink Goldfish 2.0.”

Thorpe’s “Bold Kindness” outlines how the pandemic magnified existing issues within the workplace, with employees demanding more meaning and a fear-free environment. Nurse Next Door’s philosophy of #BoldKindness —breaking norms and genuinely desiring to improve lives—serves as a model for all businesses aspiring to blend profitability with a positive impact.

The book provides guidance for increasing employee engagement and rethinking leadership strategies. It promotes creating a place where people can be real and where work feels like a community. Thorpe’s call to action is for leaders everywhere to consider how their actions and workplace design can fundamentally enhance the human aspect of business.

“Bold Kindness” is essential reading for any leader or future leader who aspires to cultivate a business that is not only successful but also caring. Thorpe’s insights provide a blueprint for fostering an environment where people look forward to coming to work every day, inspired by the possibility of making a difference in the lives of others. I highly recommend it.

Would you lock your phone in a box during dinner for a free bottle of wine?

About 90% of customers at Al Condominio, a charming new Italian restaurant in Verona, are taking advantage of the unique offer.

In an article in The Guardian, owner Angelo Lella shared the reasoning behind the strategy…

“We wanted to open a restaurant that was different from the others… So we picked this format – customers can choose to renounce technology while enjoying a convivial moment together. Technology is becoming a problem – there is no need to look at your phone every five seconds, but for many people it is like a drug … This way they have an opportunity to put it aside and drink some good wine.”
Angelo Lella

This strategy is what David Rendall and I would call a “Pink Goldfish.” This approach champions defying norms and exploiting imperfections to create a unique business strategy. Al Condominio does this through two specific tactics: withholding and microweirding.

Withholding: A Mobile-Free Zone
Al Condominio’s strategy involves withholding—a tactic where businesses take something away that customers would expect to have. In this case, it’s the use of mobile phones during meals. Diners are encouraged to lock away their phones in special boxes in exchange for a free bottle of wine. This act of withholding not only reduces distractions but also enhances the dining experience, promoting richer, face-to-face interactions among diners.

Microweirding: The Lockbox and Key
The restaurant introduces an element of microweirding by adding a quirky twist to the phone-free experience. Diners lock their phones in a box and use the key to claim their bottle of wine. This small, distinctive touch not only stands out as an unusual practice but becomes a conversation starter among guests, creating a memorable experience that diners are likely to talk about long after their meal.

Parallel Strategy: The Masters at Augusta National Golf Club
A similar strategy is employed during The Masters Golf Tournament, where mobile phones are banned from the course during the four competitive rounds. This policy transforms the spectator experience. As noted by golf podcaster Rick Shiels, without phones, something magical happens: people actually start talking to one another. This environment fosters a sense of presence and community among the patrons, enhancing the overall experience of the event.

Note: No free wine at The Masters. But you can grab an Egg Salad Sandwich or the famous Pimento Cheese Sandwich for just $1.50 a piece. Here are the concession prices for the 2024 Masters courtesy of USA Today:

Egg Salad: $1.50
Pimento Cheese: $1.50
Masters Club: $3
Chicken salad on Honey wheat: $3
Ham/cheese on rye: $3
Classic Chicken: $3
Domestic Beer: $6 (Up $1 compared to last year)
Import Beer: $6
Crow’s Nest: $6
Peach Ice Cream Sandwich: $3

These prices are intentionally LOW. Former Augusta National chairman Clifford Roberts wrote in his 1976 book, “The Story of Augusta National Golf Club”:

“We believe that one of the reasons the Masters is popular with patrons of the game is because they can obtain good food and drink at reasonable prices.”

Conclusion
Both Al Condominio and The Masters demonstrate the power of Pink Goldfish strategies: embracing what’s unique, even if it means breaking away from the norm, can create unforgettable experiences and draw people closer together.

Presentation Skills Workshop

Honored to present recently in New Jersey. I did a half-day workshop on Presentation Skills in Secaucas with Quest Diagnostics.

Trivia: Secaucas (which borders both The Meadowlands and Hoboken) means “place of snakes” in Algonquin.

Here is an overview of the workshop:

Becoming an effective communicator and creating engaging presentations is an essential business skill. According to famed playwright,

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
-George Bernard Shaw

This workshop focuses on how to improve communication fundamentals, with an emphasis on presentation skills. It has four main components:

First, workshop participants will understand their role as communicators.

Second, they’ll learn how to organize content and clarify their message for retention.

Third, participants will learn about the importance of visuals. They learn how to leverage the picture superiority effect and put the power back into PowerPoint.

Lastly, attendees will learn core presentational skills such as pausing, gesturing, tone, and a technique called S.T.O.P.

Bonus: In the fourth hour of the workshop we also covered the CPR method for effective storytelling, the 10 keys to presenting in the virtual environment, and the S.I.L.V.E.R. presentation planning framework.

Here’s what I love about the workshop experience… it is packed with hands-on exercises. Participants leave with actionable strategies and techniques to improve their confidence when communicating.

I think it’s essential to invest in presentation skills for your team members. But don’t take my word for it. Warren Buffett believes you can improve your value by 50 percent just by learning communication skills–public speaking. He believes that mastering the art of public speaking is the single greatest career-boosting skill.

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Through my partner B1G1, each program gives back to create global IMPACT

When we complete a GOLDFISH TANK, we give 1001 days of clean water to school children

When we complete a GLOBAL engagement, we give 365 days of clean water access in Peru, 120 days of learning aids in Malaysia, and 50 days of business training for women in Malawi

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